I've been searching for something.
It happened subconsciously at first but, I've noticed a pattern lately in the posts I read on Instagram, the blogs I wanted to follow and the articles I clicked on from time to time. I strongly suspect you're looking for it too.
I'm talking about the feeling of "me too".
Know what I mean? As in:
My child won't sleep and I'm angry about it (also, I'm sorry that I'm angry about it). Me too.
I'm so blessed by my life but sometimes burdened by it at the same time. Me too.
These words stirred a deep part of me. Me too.
I wish I could keep up. Me too.
This song brought me hope. Me too.
My baby is growing too fast and I already miss this part of our life together. Me too.
I found this so beautiful and it healed me. Me too.
Laughing at this made my day three shades brighter. Me too.
My marriage needs nurturing but I'm so tired from life that I don't know where to start. Me too.
I want to know I can rise from this. Me too.
This is what I want my online writings to be for your heart. Every post or caption I hit 'share' on is sent out with the hope that it helps someone feel understood, seen and loved. And--even though I feel odd admitting this--I also write with the hope that someone will reach out and say "me too" back to me. There's just a unique kind of healing that comes from discovering you're not alone. We may not know each other but I can bet that you long to be seen and loved exactly where you are today.
You, with new baby and all the overwhelm of love and exhaustion and neediness washing over you both.
You, with the house in disarray (even though you just cleaned it).
You, with the heart that beats to create your art but doesn't feel brave enough to yet.
You, with the marriage that's feeling a bit like a well-used blanket; threadbare, tattered on the edges, but still something you love and long to mend.
You, with a deep longing--not just to know you're not alone--but to understand that you are known.
And there you have it, the core of my searching and yours. We simply want to be known in the midst of our messy lives; to have our chins lifted while being told that there's hope for us to carry on. But if all we're doing is finding that in each other's Instagram captions and pretty blog posts than we're going to walk away and be still thirsty. There's nothing wrong with online camaraderie. But if we stop there, then we're creating idols. So please know that my ultimate prayer is that my writings point you to the God who knows and loves you in truer, more intimate ways than anyone ever could.
Really, I just want more of Jesus. You too?