a becoming

"Your skin is criss-crossed with stretch marks because you don't participate in co-creation with God without being marked by the experience. You became a mother and, no matter how many sit-ups you do, your body will bear the imprint of that truth for the rest of your life in some way." -Sarah Bessey

I showed Jonathan this self portrait I made since reaching full term with our daughter. After seeing it, he said: "It's very true and honest. Moms need to know that." And when I mentioned my obvious stretch marks this time around he replied, "They're beautiful. I love 'em. Shows how amazing you are."

This body was our childrens' first home and I'll never be able to hide that. The evidence of it is splayed across my skin like a wrinkled river delta . My body has been widened and split open and asked much of; much like my heart, my soul. 

God has granted my body the gift of bearing me into motherhood. It's tired and well lived in and so much stronger than I thought possible. So maybe I need have the same mindset as my husband who clearly appreciates and praises what my body looks like since bearing children. No, it's not the same anymore. In fact, could I dare to believe it's more beautiful than it's ever been?

I can. 

Because the truth is, there is no shame in participating in something as God-ordained as creation. Whether we first bore them in your womb, our heart or the welcome of our arms, it's all worthy and good in God's eyes; this becoming of a mother.

How could we ever think that we'd remain unchanged after a holy encounter like that?