a {birthday} day on the town

My sister Melissa and I share a birthday. We're two years apart but since neither of us can remember life without the other we often say we feel like twins. I love it. Now that we're grown with our own homes and lives in separate states, it's pretty rare that we actually get to celebrate our birthday in the same place on our actual birthday. And because I'm so far along in this pregnancy and not cleared for travel, I thought it wasn't going to happen this year either. But Melissa and her family decided to make the trek to our house so we could be together. Since that hasn't happened in years, I was pretty happy about it! 

With two toddlers and a third trimester mama in the party, we decided to make the birthday celebrations easy on ourselves and keep it local. So a day Over the Rhine in Cincinnati it was! 

We stopped at the most darling little flower shop called Gia & the Blooms where I bought Mel a new plant for her birthday and Behr discovered the hard way to not touch the cacti with his curious little hands. The ladies there were so helpful and patient with our kids. I definitely want to go back soon. Anyone want to come with me? 

We chased babies on the bright streets, indulged in Macarons and picnicked under the suspension bridge on the best chicken salad sandwiches. We ended the day at Riverfront Park where the kids wore themselves out playing in the water and generally being adorable.

I'm so glad we have these beautiful humans to do life with (even from afar!).

here she comes--what's in our hospital bag

It's finally that time. I keep finding tiny onesies and hair bows sitting pretty on the bed. Her crib and bassinet are assembled and waiting. But, somehow, I'm still in a state of disbelief. So much of this pregnancy has just been about survival. I'll admit that I've even forgotten I'm pregnant at times because of the mind-numbing sickness or depression. But now when I look down and my view is swallowed by the width of my own belly. I think, "here she comes".  My heart ripples like leaves in dappled sunlight. It's finally, really happening. Time to pack up that hospital bag!

Let's start by talking about this duffel bag from Birdling. I've been a long time admirer of their work. I mean, who isnt? So when I contacted them to ask about featuring The Weekender as our hospital bag I was completely honored that they sent this one right over. Thanks Meagan, it's beyond what I was anticpating!

What I love about it:

  • It's sturdy and stylish. There's nothing I love more in a product than for it to have both beauty and functionality. 
  • The amount of storage. The one in this post comes with nifty dividers, inside mesh pockets and seven exterior pockets. This duffel will be big enough for all the mama, baby (and daddy!) essentials needed for our hospital stay. I really like that we can condense it all to one bag!   
  • Two ways to tote. I can carry like in the picture above but it also comes with a larger shoulder strap if we want to carry it messenger style. 

And now, for a peek inside. Tell me, did I forget anything? 

 What we're bringing for baby: 

  • two gorgeous swaddles from aden + anais gifted by our family friend Jamie 
  • two sleepers (zip up ones are SO much easier in my opinion) 
  • two pretty onesies + soft pants. For pictures and her coming home outfit--the tiny bunny one! 
  • Solly Wrap in the color Sky 
  • hair bows from Pemberley Handmade
  • paci clip from Loved by Sophia Claire
  • diaper changing mat from Gathre
  • baby oil from Min.Erbs
  •  Jellycat bunny (her first toy) and that twenty-eight year old stork bird baby which comes with a tiny backstory:  my uncle brought to the hospital when I was born and my mom saved it my entire childhood. So, I able to bring it along when Behr was born and now it will also be there when Bunny is born. My heart! 

What we're bringing for Mama: 

  • dreamy soft nursing robe from Motherhood Maternity 
  • two nursing bras. I'm bringing one "pretty" bra and another that's more of the "workhorse" type ;) 
  • two nursing/post partum body friendly tops from Maurices 
  • maternity pants + yoga pants
  • nursing pads  + nipple cream from Lansinoh
  • basic toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, contact solution, deodorant, etc) 
  • three comfy tank tops
  • Mama's Glow Belly Butter from Min.Erbs
  • honeysuckle lotion from Tubby Todd. It smells SO good. 
  • comfy, slip-on house shoes + socks

And there it is, what we're taking to the hospital to meet our girl! What were your birthing must-haves? Please be sure to jump in on the comment section of my Instagram to let me know! For now, our bag is (mostly) packed and--like me--looking mighty full and just waiting to get this whole birthing process started. Is it time yet?! 

A huge thank you once again goes to Birdling for generously collaborating with me on this  post. And because it needs to be said, I wouldn't share about their duffel with you guys here unless I truly loved how it fits into our life. So thank you for understanding and reading along. As always, you are what makes this all worth while. 

the secret to being ok when nothing is ok

I have this thing with mess.

Mess, as in both the literal and figurative sense. 

Dirt, clutter, disorder. Hard conversations, tense words, unresolved conflict. It all taunts my shoulders up into a mountain of knots quicker than most things. I just want everything to be in order; to be "ok". All the time. Who doesn't?

But thing about life is that--by it's very nature-- is quite the messy process. You can't live in a home or try to grow plants or learn how to love another human without there being some measure of mess. 

So, how do I learn to be ok with that?

Last week, I pushed our coffee table and rug out of the living room to intentionally make a giant mess right in the middle of our home.  We had new plants that needed potting and this pregnant mama liked the idea of doing the happy chore inside next to the air conditioning unit.  Dirt was...everywhere. Behr didn't even know how to handle it. Poor buddy. He's a lot like his mama in that he's not hugely keen on getting his hands dirty. 

"I scared of dat dirt." he declared at one point, hands splayed out like pudgy starfish. 

"It's ok!" I chirped back, "Dirt is good!" 

"Dirt is good?" his cautious skepticism was adorable. 

"Yea! Messes are ok sometimes." I reassured him. 

Yes, messes are ok because they're an unavoidable part of life. He needs to know that (and his mama wishes she'd embraced it a lot sooner). 

I tend to define myself by how well I keep my house/life in order. If  there's dust gathered behind the couch or the bathroom is in desperate need of wiping down, I think, "You're a failure." If Jonathan and I have a miscommunication fight or Behr is being defiant I think, "It's all your fault. If you could just be more (organized, mature, on top of things, etc) things wouldn't be this way." Instead of believing the truth that only by God's grace am I a new creation, I think my identity--my worth--is entirely made up from what I do. 

The truth is, I like ticking off checklists and feeling like I'm winning at the relationships in my life. I like being able to say: "Look what I did!" And while there's nothing wrong with being a good and faithful steward of the roles Jesus has given me, it's all supposed to reflect what God is doing in my heart, not how well I can seemingly hold things together. Because no matter how hard I work, no matter how much I strive to make my life perfect, it never will be. Like I said earlier: this life will always come with a heavy dose of inevitable, grace-inducing mess.

I'm fumbling my way through this, but I think learning to live with Inevitable Grace-Mess starts with simply accepting it. It's as if there's an undiscovered room of peace behind this door I call Control. I like that door, it makes me feel safe and predictable. But guarding that door, constantly checking the locks and straining to keep a firm grip on the doorknob at all times is a sure fire way to live life worn down, thinned out by stress and closed off to grace.  I just need to let the door fling open and breathe in the tangled beauty waiting on the other side. I need to be ok with things not always being ok and surrender the rest up to Jesus.  

And maybe a tangible way to remind myself of that can sometimes look like turning our living room into a temporarily soil filled gardening station. After all, you can't give anything a place to grow without first getting your hands dirty, right?

What sort of Grace-Mess are you going to "be ok with"  today? Hop over to Instagram and let me know!

In case anyone was wondering, the beautiful and extremely functional mat pictured here is from Gathre and we couldn't love it more!