saying thank you {a summertime giveaway}

So, this is admittedly a long post. But I can explain myself, ha!  First, I'm sharing about God's faithfulness to our family in our current season. Second, you can read how you being here as helped me through the last year of my life. And finally, if you read to the end, you'll see a exciting (!!!) announcement I really don't want you to miss out on. 

 If you've been following me for any amount of time you know about my battles with anxiety and depression.  It became the most intense when I was pregnant with Scout this past Winter. I think that was due in part to the fact that we were forced to stay indoors because of the season. Whenever the weather did lighten up and we were able to be outside, even for just a few minutes, I noticed a huge positive shift in my mood. I spent so much time hoping for and longing for Winter to end. Just the simple act of dreaming about one day wearing our daughter, and getting to watch Behr play in the warmth of Summer helped me to keep pushing through the dark times. 

I'm relieved and proud to say that, by God's grace, we made it. Scout was born last month and we've been getting outdoors as a family as much as we're able. My body is slowly but surely healing. I feel more like myself than I have since last December.

 One of my favorite things we've done this Summer was a simple picnic at a park in Florence, KY. It was nothing fancy at all but it felt like a full circle moment. 

We happened to get there right as the sun was melting like lemon sherbet into the little patch of forest behind us.  We watched Behr run about like a wild thing; only coming back for bites of food or to tackle daddy. I loved watching his little mouth gather up  grape jelly and chocolate smeared memories.  Scout laid quietly taking it all in until I nursed her under the dappling sunlight overhead. It was exactly how I pictured it all those long, lonely Winter months (only much better because it was real).

Getting to wrap my tiny floppy baby up and walk in the bright light of Summer with my family was a deep heart-wish of mine for so long.  I know that our life will most likely contain sharper suffering than a difficult pregnancy but, we're humbly grateful to be on the other side of that trial. 

Praise God, we've made it here; to the happy part, to the healed up part. 

The reason why I share is because maybe you need to know you'll make it too. I may not know what hard thing you're facing but I do know Jesus will love you through it. I can say that because I've experienced it. That's not just me spouting what I've heard or read in Scripture. It's me looking you in the eyes and saying, "I know Jesus loves me. I know He never stopped leading us. How? Because I'm living it." 

 "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." -Romans 5:1-5

All of this brings me to something I'm SO excited to share with you, dear reader. Besides God's grace, another thing that helped heal me was you. Every time I opened up about what our family was struggling through I was carried away in a tide of encouragement and proclamations of, "me too!". Whether you liked, commented, or messaged me to share your heart, please know that it all mattered in huge way to a lonely, suffering mama in Northern Kentucky. And I want to say thank you. 

Which brings us to the giveaway I'm opening up on my Instagram tonight. I reached out to five of my favorite brands and asked if they would be willing to donate to this little 'thank you' project. I was humbled by their response. Each company responded with an enthusiastic "Yes! Count us in!" I'm so glad they did because we truly love how their products enrich and simplify our life. 

So here we go, each of these products were selected to gift one person everything they need to have a hopeful and happy Summertime outing as a family.  One lucky person will win all of this! 

Solly Baby - wrap of choice (does not apply to collaboration wraps and must be in stock). In my humble opinion, There is no better carrier for the first 6 months-1st year than the Solly Baby Wrap. Beauty, comfort and functionality are perfectly combined in what I unashamedly say is my favorite tiny baby product!  

Pemberley Handmade - One bow set of choice. In case you didn't know, these are pretty much the only bows that Scout wears right now. My sister owns this shop and I'm so proud of how far she's taken it. Each bow is meticulously made by hand in her home in East Tennessee. She told me the reason she started this business was so other girl mamas could add a touch of feminine elegance to their girl's lives without any hassle. Even if you don't have a daughter, you could still gift these bows to other little ladies in your life. We are diehard fans and super proud to include Pemberley Handmade in this giveaway. 

Birdling Bags - $75 shop credit. We used The Weekender from Birdling as our hospital bag and l o v e d it. But they also make other bags that would be perfect for summer activities. I mean just look at The Day Tripper Bag! 

Gathre - $40 shop credit. We recently invested in the large all purpose mat (the one in this post) from Gathre for the sole purpose of family activities outdoors. I considered it my reward for making it through that awful pregnancy, ha! But we also use their changing pad and it's amazing! I particularly love how easy it is to clean off and how it can fold up super tiny and not take up a lot of space in our diaper bag. 

Tubby Todd - one bottle of Hair & Body Wash. And finally, I wanted to include this because you need something to wash everyone up after you've played hard outside together! We've just started using Tubby Todd products and I don't know if I'll ever want to bathe my babies in anything else! From their website: "...every ingredient is cleanly sourced, animal cruelty free and 100% natural." What could be better than that?! 

So, tonight around 6:30pm EST I'll be sharing  post on my Instagram. All the details about how to enter this giveaway will be found there.

You guys, I can't waaaait!

an introduction

Scout - "to listen"

Lucy - "light"

Arrow - "purpose" 

We debated the confirmation of her name until--literally--the last moment. As in, we were pacing the hospital halls, working through contractions together while I'm saying to Jonathan, "She needs a name, babe." I remember when I was pregnant with her how Jonathan prayed over us right before bed at night asking Jesus to lead us to the right name for our daughter. I'm happy to say that He most certainly did. 

Scout was a name that, honestly, we both just liked. I know a lot of people will think we named her after the character from 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and while that isn't the case with our girl, I'm fine with people assuming that; Jean Louise (Scout) is a pretty cool literary heroine. The meaning "to listen" is something I love because it conveys the idea of being observant, of being compassionate through the act of choosing to pay attention. In a world that's increasingly loud and opinionated, hearts that genuinely listen can bring about great healing. 

Lucy came to us from two sources. First, I knew I wanted one of her names to having the meaning of "light". Back in the Winter, when I was horribly sick and slogging through depression, those short dull-gray days gnawed at my heart like an infection. It felt impossible to believe we would make it when there was no sunrise and no sunset; just apathetic skies that ended in long, shadowed nights. But those days when the Winter sun showed it's face brought such healing to my heart. I felt bolstered and hopeful. Jesus always brought them right when I needed them most and it meant everything.

The second way we knew Lucy was the right name happened right before she was born. I had been tossing different names that meant "light" to Jonathan but he wasn't keen on any of them except Lucy. Then one day while driving somewhere I mentioned that Lucy was my great-grandmothers name. Jonathan suddenly remembered that Lucy was also his great-grandmothers name. What?! How had we not known that before? Both Lucy's were godly women that held their families together through long, long seasons of great trial and suffering. Although their stories are different, they were each strong women in the Lord. Both sides of our families still benefit from the favor and grace Jesus poured into their lives. I'm proud to have a daughter as their namesake. I can't wait to tell her about the women she's named after. 

Arrow was a name that had been on our "baby names list" since before Behr was born. Besides it meaning the obvious: arrow. It's also found in Scripture:

"Listen to me, O coastlands, and give attention, you peoples from afar. The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name. He made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me a polished arrow; in his quiver he he hid me away. And he said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified." -Isaiah 49:1-3

When looking at the name Arrow in the context of this verse it conveys the idea of loving, intentional purpose. God wanted Isaiah to be like an arrow; designed and used for a specific reason. Not aimlessly stumbling through life, wondering what his identity was or what he put on the earth for. God created  Isaiah to fly, strong and true, striking hard into the core purpose He has for all of us: to glorify God with our lives. 

This is our heart-prayer for Scout as well. May she learn early on that God has lovingly ordained a path for her life. May she follow it without wavering and become a holy, beautiful weapon for the kingdom of her Heavenly Father. 

Even though it's been a full month with this little light of ours, we're still completely smitten. Every morning we get to wake up and learn more about her. Every day offers fresh ways to fall in love with this tiny person who we can't believe we've been gifted with. 

We love you brighter than the sunrise, little one. 

a becoming

"Your skin is criss-crossed with stretch marks because you don't participate in co-creation with God without being marked by the experience. You became a mother and, no matter how many sit-ups you do, your body will bear the imprint of that truth for the rest of your life in some way." -Sarah Bessey

I showed Jonathan this self portrait I made since reaching full term with our daughter. After seeing it, he said: "It's very true and honest. Moms need to know that." And when I mentioned my obvious stretch marks this time around he replied, "They're beautiful. I love 'em. Shows how amazing you are."

This body was our childrens' first home and I'll never be able to hide that. The evidence of it is splayed across my skin like a wrinkled river delta . My body has been widened and split open and asked much of; much like my heart, my soul. 

God has granted my body the gift of bearing me into motherhood. It's tired and well lived in and so much stronger than I thought possible. So maybe I need have the same mindset as my husband who clearly appreciates and praises what my body looks like since bearing children. No, it's not the same anymore. In fact, could I dare to believe it's more beautiful than it's ever been?

I can. 

Because the truth is, there is no shame in participating in something as God-ordained as creation. Whether we first bore them in your womb, our heart or the welcome of our arms, it's all worthy and good in God's eyes; this becoming of a mother.

How could we ever think that we'd remain unchanged after a holy encounter like that?